


Starlit Nights

by dreamshadow



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Christmas fic, F/F, Family, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Grief/Mourning, LGBTQ Themes, Traditions, Useless Lesbians, moving forward
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2020-03-20 08:43:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18989200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamshadow/pseuds/dreamshadow
Summary: For the last two years, the holiday season has been more painful than cheerful for Julia Longbottom. Thankfully, her group of friends has been there for her to try and turn it into something special.This year, though, they're all leaving the castle for their own reasons -- all except for one.





	Starlit Nights

**Author's Note:**

> beta'd by banshee
> 
> second place in Ineke's Happier Holiday's challenge ♥

After spending the last few days decorating the common room, a fourth year girl was the one who hung the last angel ornament on the tree.  The students stood in a semi-circle around it, taking a step back to admire their work. Snow fell outside and with the fireplace lit, it was a scene right out of those Christmas movies she used to watch with her mum.  

Julia tried to ignore the ache in her chest whenever she thought about her mother, but it seemed to get bigger around the holidays. It was even worse when the decorations started, and those who wanted to began hanging the ornaments they'd brought from home.  Julia took part in the tradition almost every year, but for the last two years, she found herself snuggled on the sofa instead. She gently ran her fingers against the cold metal of the silver star in her hands, lost in a world of thought.

Isabelle came and sat next to her on the couch. "The tree's not done yet, Jules.  We're still waiting on one more."

Julia glanced up at the top of the tree, her eyes finally leaving the silver star in her hands.  "You can hang it," she replied, trying to pass it over. "I'm not really feeling it this year."

"I'd believe you, except you've said that for the last two years and we've still managed to bring out the holiday spirit in you," Isabelle replied lightly. She didn't take the star, instead folding it back into Julia's hand.   Isabelle met Julia's gaze as she did and her face softened. "I know it's been hard for you, but come on. Do you really think your mum would want you to sit on the sidelines every year?"

"I think Mum would want us to come home for Christmas the last two years, but that hasn't happened either," Julia snapped a little harsher than she meant.

"Have you tried talking to your dad?" Isabelle pressed, her voice still soft.  "Maybe he doesn't know how much going home would mean to you. And you're seventeen now -- you could go home on your own."

"Yeah, because spending Christmas by myself sounds like a great idea," Julia argued.  Then she sighed, sinking back into the cushions. She watched as her friends and housemates started dispersing from around the tree.  In the corner of her eye, she saw their house menorah, the candlelight flickering in the window. "No, I really don't mind. I like our new tradition, Izzy. And Dad's pretty set on spending most of the week in his office working over lesson plans.  It's a miracle I can even convince him to come out for Christmas dinner."

Isabelle shifted uncomfortably.  "Yeah, about that --"

Julia frowned.  "You're not bailing on me, are you?  Friendsmas was  _your_  idea--"

"I know, I know.  It's just... Greg wants me to come home with him and meet his family," Isabelle started.  Her eyes lit up, the bright blue sparkling a little more as she started talking about her first long-term boyfriend. "I tried to argue with him because I didn't want you to be mad at me, but you know how long it took me to even get him to  _talk_  about his family.  And now he wants me to meet them -- at the holidays. I just..."

Julia couldn't help the smile that started etching its way onto her face.  She nudged Isabelle's shoulder, the small edge of disappointment already melting away. "It's okay, Izzy. If it were just some random bloke, I'd be a little upset, but it's Greg. You guys have been through a lot, so I'm happy for you.  You should go." She paused for a moment, chewing on her lip. "Besides, it's been two years now. I'm okay."

"Are you sure?" she asked uneasily. "I don't want to leave you alone--"

"--I won't be alone," Julia insisted.  "Kyle, Sam, and Molly are still going to be there.  We'll miss you, but we'll be fine."

"Wow, way to make a girl feel loved," Isabelle joked. "And here I was stressing about leaving  _you_."

Julia smiled again, draping an arm around her shoulder.  "Oh, come on. If I tell you how devastated we're all going to be, you're not going to leave. Meeting Greg's family is important, and I'm sure everyone else is going to agree with me."

"Mmhm," she replied, unconvinced.  The corners of Isabelle's mouth twitched into a smile. "I'm sure this has nothing to do with you spending a little more quality time with Molly, right?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Julia replied calmly.  A blush started to creep up her neck but she quickly covered it with a curtain of blonde hair.  "Molly and I are friends."

"You and  _I_  are friends, Jules."  

Julia shot her a look. "Don't make me regret telling you."

"I'd never!"  
  
"Whatever you say," she replied, still giving her the side-eye as she stood up.  "I'm going to see if I can go snag some hot chocolate from the kitchens. You wanna come?"

Isabelle blinked. "If you have to ask me that question, we're not as close as I thought we were," she answered seriously, practically jumping off the couch.

Julia snorted. The two girls left the festivities of the Hufflepuff common room arm-in-arm, the silver star left forgotten on the cushions.

 

* * *

 

His office door was closed.  

Julia knew he always had it open during school hours, allowing anyone to come visit and talk about his assignments, classes, or pretty much anything that might be stressing them out.  He was good like that; her dad always wanted to be an ear for someone to talk to, but Julia never quite seemed to make the cut. Now that classes were over for the holiday break, she wasn't surprised that he'd locked himself away, burying himself in lesson plans and grading until the new year.

She knocked on the door.  "Dad?" she called, her voice more confident than she felt.

A sound of a scraping chair and shuffled papers was her answer.  Heavy footsteps followed and then the door creaked open, her dad pushing his head out slightly.  She frowned as she saw the beard that was starting to grow, unable to miss his long hair, too. It was officially the start of the holiday season if he was letting himself go like this.

"You okay, Jules?" he asked. The concern was genuine, even as his dark brown eyes did a once-over to take his daughter in.  Once he seemed satisfied, Neville stood up, opening the door a little more. "I'm a bit busy at the moment, but if you need me --"

Julia shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "Not really," she said. "I just... I wanted to ask you about going home for Christmas this year.  The deadline for signing up has passed, and I already let the Headmistress know we were staying, but she said if you changed your mind, we just had to let her know by the end of today."

She didn't want to tell him that she'd found out that Kyle and Sam were also going home for the holidays.  While they wanted to stay behind with her, both of their families requested their presence for their holiday traditions this year, and Julia wasn't the type to ask them to stay behind for her.  Isabelle seemed to think that Julia was more fragile than she was -- just because she spent the last two years grieving over her mother's death.

Isabelle wasn't entirely wrong, but Julia tried not to be selfish.

"Jules," he started, his voice rough. "You know I can't go home. I have a lot of work to do and if we go, I'm just going to be distracted and not very festive.  I won't be able to give you the kind of Christmas you deserve, the kind of Christmas you could get while being here."

"I'm not feeling particularly festive this year, either, Dad," she argued.  "Maybe I just want to go home."

"Aren't your friends staying here with you? You had a huge party last year, I remember that."

"No," she replied. "Well, Molly is, but I'd feel bad to make her miss another family holiday because of me. Christmas is big with the Weasleys, and I don't... I don't deserve that kind of attention. I don't want her family to hate her because of me."

Neville frowned.  "Percy would never hate Molly for staying behind at school," he said.  "Not if that's what she wanted to do."

Julia shifted her weight again, feeling awkward by the office door.  The hallway was deserted, but this kind of intimate conversation should've happened in a comfortable chair with a mug of hot chocolate.  Instead, they were standing here, as if her dad couldn't wait to get rid of her so he could get back to work.

He hadn't always been a workaholic like this. He was always passionate about his job and his students, and until two years ago, they'd always gone home for the holidays. Her mother would cook a Christmas feast and Julia would play the piano, her parents standing behind her and singing carols.  Her mother would decorate the tree while they were at Hogwarts, but she always saved the silver star for last until Julia got home. When Julia was younger, her dad would lift her up so that she could reach the top, securing the star in its place.

"Maybe not.  But I can't ask that of her."

"If she's already agreed to it, I hardly think you're asking much of her," Neville replied.  His voice was soft with an edge of something more to it, but Julia couldn't figure out what it was.  "I know you want to go home, Jules, but I'm not ready. Not for Christmas -- it reminds me too much of your mum.  I'm sorry."

Julia sighed in defeat.  She didn't really have the energy to fight with him on it, but if she was being honest, she didn't really have the energy for most things these days.  "Okay," she said, her voice small. "Fine. I'll leave you to your work."

Her dad frowned slightly. "I do love you, Jules.  You know that, right?"

"Yeah," she assured him, meeting his gaze.  "I do. I love you too, Dad."

Without another word, she turned on her heel and left him to his office, her heart a little heavier than it had been before she came to see him. Julia missed the days when the holidays were exciting and about spending time with her family; the few times a year all three of them were together.   Now, it was about the constant ache in her chest and missing her mother more and more as the countdown to Christmas continued.

 

* * *

 

"Looks like it's just me and you for the holidays," Julia said, coming around the Ravenclaw table.  She plopped down next to Molly, smiling at her. As always, her friend's head was buried in a book, her auburn red hair pulled up in a tight braid.  

She looked up when Julia sat down. "So I see," she replied, closing her book.  Molly pushed some eggs around the table. "I'm surprised Izzy actually went home with Greg."

"I'm not," Julia said.  "It didn't take a lot of convincing from me to let her go.  I think she loves him."

"Well, that would explain a lot."  Molly smiled over at her, and it was hard for Julia to ignore the little flip her stomach did when they made eye contact.  "You're in good spirits this morning. Did you drink too much caffeine again?"

Julia frowned. "I only had two cups --"

"Jules, it's only nine-thirty in the morning," Molly pointed out, chuckling. "Besides, it's  _winter break_. We don't even have homework."

"Like that's ever stopped you," Julia teased, making Molly roll her eyes. "For your information, they were only two  _small_  cups. And I didn't really sleep well last night, so I'm compensating."

"Or you're just addicted, and that's what you need to tell yourself," Molly said.  "Whatever it is, it's nice to see you happy."

"Truth be told, I just like the castle when it gets like this," Julia confessed.  She leaned in a little closer, even though there was no need. The Ravenclaw table was practically deserted, and there were only a few students scattered around the Great Hall.  It was comforting to know that she wasn't the only one not going home for Christmas this year, even if they were all younger students she didn't know.

Molly raised an eyebrow. "Like what?"

"Just... like this," she said, gesturing around her. "Quiet. It's peaceful."

"Why do you think I don't mind staying here for break?" she asked.  "I love my family, but they get too crazy over the holidays. So many kids.  So much food. So much chaos, fireworks exploding, endless games of Exploding Snap, Uncle George getting drunk and trying to get Harry and Ron to tell war stories..."

Julia smiled. "That sounds like beautiful chaos to me."

"Mmm, maybe we should've gone to my house, then," Molly replied.  "You'd change your mind real quick on that. I didn't mention the mess or the no privacy or the constant questions about what you're going to do with your future--"

Julia raised her hands in surrender. "I get it, I get it.  So really, you're just using me as an excuse."

Molly's smile turned into a smirk and Julia gave her a skeptical look.  "Maybe."

Her cheeks flushed and she cleared her throat.  "Okay. Well. Since we have a full day ahead of us, what do you want to do?"

"You mean we can't just hibernate in our lounge and read all day?"

Their lounge was one of the old classrooms that didn't see much activity anymore.  It was tucked away on the sixth floor of the castle, and as far as she knew, only Julia and her group of friends used it.  They were a group of mixed houses -- Isabelle and Julia in Hufflepuff, Molly and Sam in Ravenclaw, and Kyle in Gryffindor -- and even with the new school rules of visiting other house common rooms before curfew, they wanted a place to call their own. The group spent the last year or so converting the dusty old classroom into somewhere a little more warm and inviting, and it was Julia's favorite place to escape to.   

"I knew you were my favorite for a reason," Julia half-teased.  "Just don't tell Izzy or she might get personally offended."

"I'd never dream of it," Molly assured her.  "But that's really what we can do? All day?"

"Obviously. I'm not Izz -- I'm not going to force us to go to Hogsmeade and windowshop in the middle of a snowstorm just because it's winter and Christmas and a thing we should do."

Molly snorted. "Still bitter about last year?"

"I got sick for three days because of that excursion!"

"It was fun, though," Molly pointed out. "The guys loved it, and Izzy's face when they slammed her with the snowball fight was priceless."

Julia laughed. "Oh, I know. She was so mad at them."

"Worth it."

"Always."

Julia smiled when a plate appeared for her at the Ravenclaw table.  She scooped out some eggs and a piece of toast. She put some jam on her toast and started eating, smiling a little when she finally saw Molly put a forkful of eggs in her mouth.

When breakfast was over, the girls stood from the table. "I just need to get my book," Julia said.  "I left it in the common room."

Molly shot her a look. "Amature."

"Shove off," Julia said, giving her a little push.

"Remind me to teach you the shrinking spell.  It's going to let you carry your book around with you at all times, and then we'll never have to make this extra stop again."

"Oh, yes, because it's such a tragedy, stopping at the Hufflepuff common room first. At least we don't have to climb a million stairs to get there."

Molly rolled her eyes.  "The view is worth it."

"Whatever you need to tell yourself," she said, though she was smiling as they walked.

Julia loved all of her friends, but it wasn't an exaggeration when she said Molly was her favorite.  Whenever she was with her, it was like this certain lightness worked its way into her chest. She laughed more, smiled more easily, and for those few minutes or hours or days, everything felt like it could be okay.

She tended to gravitate towards Isabelle more in group outings, but that was only because she didn't want everyone else to figure out her secret.

Julia was in love with Molly Weasley, but she was fairly convinced Molly Weasley didn't love her back.

It was probably for the best.

 

* * *

 

Most of the holiday break went by without an incident.  Julia and Molly spent almost all their time together, Julia learning quickly that there wasn't really a point in trying to spend more time with her father.  As much as she wanted to, she knew that losing her mum had been devastating for him. She'd gotten sick while they'd both been at Hogwarts, and Neville took a leave of absence in order to care for her.  He insisted Julia stay at school, but when it came close to the end, he took her out for a few days so they could spend time at St. Mungo's together. Hannah Abbott-Longbottom died in a hospital bed, surrounded by her family, three days before Christmas.

This year, though, even as the day approached, Julia found herself feeling lighter than she had the last two years.  She attributed that mostly to Molly. Molly, who knew when to start a conversation and when to end one; whose grey eyes sparkled when she told a joke and whose nose crinkled when she smelled something disgusting. Julia had always been observant, but it seemed that the more time she spent with Molly, the more mannerisms she picked up and after six years of friendship, they could have conversations without even saying a word to each other.

It was Julia's favorite part of their friendship.

Her second favorite part was that as the anniversary of her mother's death loomed closer, it was the furthest thing from her mind.  

Julia and Molly spent most of their time in the lounge, reading or sharing old family traditions. Occasionally they would venture outside the Hogwarts walls for a walk around the Black Lake.  A few of the younger students who were still around would be skating on the lake nearby or throwing snowballs at each other, completely oblivious to the two girls walking as closely as possible.  Julia was convinced it was because of the cold, but when Molly's arm brushed against hers more than few times, she couldn't help but wonder.

Wonder was a dangerous thing. It led to too many what-ifs, too many hopeful hints that almost led Julia to spilling her secret, and too many crushed moments whenever Molly's face lit up when they shared a story or memory about Isabelle.

The anniversary of her mother's death came and went.  Julia tried to get her father to come out of his office and have some hot chocolate, or to share stories about her mother, but as always, he was radio-silent, the beard growing longer whenever she did see him at meals.

On Christmas Eve, after spending the day reading, and enjoying a good Christmas Eve feast with the rest of the castle, Julia and Molly sat on the sofa in the Hufflepuff common room.  Julia's eyes were droopy and she felt warm and full from the food. Molly was sitting right next to her, her arms leaning against Julia's with her feet up on the coffee table.

"You're not just my excuse, you know," Molly said, cutting through the silence.

"...What?" Julia asked, using every ounce of self-control to not sit bolt upright.  Suddenly she was keenly aware of how close they were sitting, of her heart pounding in her chest.

"Remember? On the first day of break, you called yourself my excuse from escaping the family chaos," Molly replied.  Her voice was soft, but Julia didn't have to strain to hear. "And while that's true, I thought you should know you're more than that."

Julia tried to laugh, but a strangled sound came out of her mouth instead. "It was a joke, Molly."

"I know. But I just..." Molly paused, finally turning so that she could look at her.  Julia met her gaze, wiping her palms on the cushions when she felt the sweat. "Being here with you this week, alone... it's been one of the best weeks I've had in a long time. And I know you don't like the holidays because of your mum, but you seem like you've been having a good time."

"Honestly?" Julia asked, looking over at her. "It's been the best week of my life."

Color filled Molly's cheeks and she looked away.  "I know we're friends and everything, and the last thing I want to do is something that's going to risk that, but... Julia, I think I..." She broke off, looking back over at her.  "I mean, I think I might have feelings for you."

Julia's heart skipped a beat. She didn't say anything at first, slowly trying to comprehend what was happening.  "Me?" she echoed.

Molly frowned. "Yes, you. You're smart and beautiful, and the way you care about your dad and your friends-- I know I'm probably crossing so many lines right now, but I just needed you to know and --"

She stayed quiet.  After a quick look around the common room to make sure no one was watching, Julia pressed her lips gently against Molly's.  

At first, Molly didn't do anything.  She stayed frozen in place, and just as Julia was about to pull away, Molly slowly started to kiss her back.  Even when it was riddled with nerves, this first kiss was as electrifying as Julia hoped it would be. It was almost as if her entire body was on fire, filling her with a warmth she'd never experienced before.

All too soon, they pulled away.  Julia pressed her forehead against Molly's momentarily, needing a second to catch her breath. Julia gently ran her fingertips over Molly's cheek.  Somewhere from behind, she could hear the grandfather clock striking eleven o'clock, but neither of them moved.

"For the record, Molly," she started, her voice a little heavier than before, "I'm happy to be your excuse."

Molly beamed at her. "You are?" she asked. "Because for a while, I could've sworn--" She broke off, her cheeks flushing again.

"Could've sworn what?"

"I don't know," she continued. "You and Izzy are so close, and I know she's with Greg and doesn't like girls, but... I don't know. I guess I thought there was always the possibility of you two."

Julia shook her head. "Don't get me wrong, I love Izz. But it's always been you for me, Molly."

The smile on Molly's face didn't fade.  Instead, she looked around the common room, although any other Hufflepuffs who were still in the castle had long gone to bed.  This time, Molly was the one who moved closer, pressing her lips against Julia's, this time with more confidence. Julia kissed her back, her arms wrapping around Molly's waist.

Julia didn't know how long they sat on the couch, but she knew it was well-passed curfew. They spent the night stealing kisses and watching the fire die slowly in the fireplace.  Eventually, Julia and Molly fell asleep together on the couch, their legs intertwined on the coffee table.

 

* * *

 

As Julia stood in front of the Christmas tree, it seemed smaller than it did before.

She was wearing a fresh pair of pyjamas, her clean wet hair tied into a neat braid.  She'd woken up on the couch next to Molly, her body stiff and sore but her heart full.  It was hard to believe that a girl like her would want to be with someone like Julia, who often got told by Isabelle to take more risks and cross a few more lines in order to get what she wanted.  Julia certainly thought she did that last night, especially with Molly standing next to her now.

They weren't holding hands -- there were a couple of other Hufflepuffs lingering around in the common room -- but they were standing just close enough for their arms to brush against each other.  Each almost-touch sent waves through Julia's body, and she was having a hard time believing any of this was real.

"It's time, Jules," Molly said, looking over at her.

Julia clutched the silver star in her hand.  It was one of the few things she took with her to Hogwarts every year, even if it hadn't made it onto the common room tree in the last two years.  Her mum had given it to her specifically for the Hufflepuff tree; Julia knew the star had been passed down from several Abbott generations.

"Yeah, I know," Julia replied, her voice mixed with a heavy emotion.  She glanced over and met Molly's gaze. "I know. I need to."

"Putting up the star isn't a way of moving on from all of the memories you shared with your mum," Molly started, managing a small smile at her.  "It's a way of honoring them. It's what she would want, right?"

"Yeah, it is."

Still, Julia couldn't quite bring herself to move just yet.  She ran her thumb gently over the face of the star, careful to not let any of the tears that were burning behind her eyes spill over.

"Happy Christmas, Mum," she whispered, so soft she was sure not even Molly could hear.  

Fingers brushed along Julia's free hand, and when she looked down, she was surprised to see Molly holding out her hand.  She looked around the common room, but no one was paying any attention to them, so she carefully took Molly's hand in hers.  Molly gave her a gentle squeeze and a slight nod.

Julia took a deep breath, and after letting go of Molly's hand, took a step closer to the tree.  Standing on her toes, she carefully balanced herself as she reached up and slipped the silver star on the top branch.  Her hand lingered for a moment before she took a step back to admire her work.

Tears rolled down her cheeks, but she smiled, looking over at the girl standing next to her.  "I don't know if I could've done this without you," she whispered.

"Sure you could've," Molly replied.  She reached up and carefully brushed away some of the tears. "You've had it in you all along -- I just lifted you up a little bit."

"A lot a bit," Julia admitted. "You have no idea--"

Molly managed a smile. "I think I have some," she said, letting her hands linger on her face for just a moment.  "Happy Christmas, Julia Longbottom."

Julia gave her a real smile.  "Happy Christmas, Molly Weasley."

As the snow fell quietly outside the window, Julia and Molly sank back into the cushions of the sofa.  Someone nearby flicked off the lights in the common room, letting the tree lights shine bright. Julia settled herself a little closer to Molly in the dark, their hands intertwining as they looked up at the star on top of the tree.

Maybe Christmas wasn't about keeping old traditions alive -- maybe it was supposed to be about making new ones with the people who mattered the most.  

And for Julia Longbottom, Molly Weasley was that person.

**Author's Note:**

> This piece was inspired by all those Christmas Hallmark movies. I wanted to write something like that, but different, and got the idea for this. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it, and I'd love to hear your thoughts!
> 
> May all of your holidays be merry and bright ♥


End file.
